9:50


insight thirtynine
Dear Lucy,

i hope you're not too warm up there, maybe wear sun cream in case you burn your pale skin. i have been thinking of you, a lot recently. i sit next to you in geography, can you imagine us pair every lesson... sir would go mad?! i chewed on some chewing gum today, mint flavoured and i remember how you used to sneeze each time you smelt mint, a cute high pitched sneeze every time. school has change, time goes on but i guess everyone has changed. we have welcomed a new member to our friend group, i hope you laugh with us. she's a phan member so im sure you can make an exception. Katie, our squish, has been struggling a lot, her anxiety is through the roof and i just want to roll her up in bubble wrap so she's safe forever. don't blame yourself Lucy, she is missing you as are we all. it's surprising how things can change in 17 weeks and 14 days, 133 days. i have lost the love of my life over my stupid mental health, you could've listened to all the drama, laughed at my stupidity and smiling at my admiration for this boy. yes i bet you've been giving me cloud tissues to stop the mess I've been over it but i guess i just need a hug, wrap your wings around me and let me stay with you instead. i miss you petal, i really do. im not sure what stage of grief i am at but i certainly cant feel it going away. still after all these long months i still imagine your skirt, socks and bouncy hair bounding up to me in the morning, probably carrying a bright umbrella due to the typical English summer. you got lucky Lucy, you miss exams which are so so hard! if you will, give me strength and knowledge please? i guess i cant say you got lucky because you didn't, but i think God takes the prettiest flowers to grow in his garden and to look over the land with bright smiles and half decent music tastes.

i love you unconditionally Lucy

Love from Soph x

☺

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

10:30

insight seventyeight a bit of a different account today -  i wrote a report on racism and material deprivation and how it influences the education of ethnic minorities.  i thought it pretty good, and interesting. enjoy :)) Rights or racism? Are we subconsciously excluding ethnic minorities? Well the answer is simply yes! All research points to the mind-set of a discriminative society that segregates ethnic minorities potentially without even realising it. But is it a shock? Not necessarily. Seeing political battles and hate crimes on the news each day makes us immune and almost blind to the severity of worldwide racism and negative judgement that disrupts ethnic minorities’ lives on a daily basis. A shocking unseen divide between races in society is uncovered within the accommodation and living conditions of these ethnic minorities. According to Guy Palmer (2012), almost ½ of all ethnic minority children live in low income households, as against ¼ of white c
Read more

5:26

insight fiftythree there's a lot of things going on right now. in my head i mean. my life isn't a lot of things, very slow motion rain and black a white music. ... let me set the scene... a candle flickers beside me, close enough so i can feel the heat but not burning my hair black. music rings through my headphones, Supermarket flowers singing my emotions in a comforting sort of way. my phone to the right of my laptop flashes with a notification from a heart breaker, whom for some reason wants to communicate with me. to my left is the rain, trickling slowly down my window, blurring the clouds and bricks together, a typical English autumn day. I've been watching this series, Doctor Foster on BBC. the final episode touched my heart, in a eye opening way. the parents of a young boy, Tom, were fighting and he went through an emotional turmoil of negative feelings. they didn't notice. but i did. i know it's all made up, but i noticed. the pale skin, the sleepless
Read more

9:38

insight sixtyone i guess you don't really understand your dependence, love and reliance on a person until you're apart. the strength of the bond that you need physically yet it's something you take for granted until it's no longer visible. Day to day laughs that are your medicine from the dark, smiles for just seconds that brighten the doomed thoughts. Just a few days, it's less than a week; why should I be bothered? maybe because without you around I feel lost within myself, or the daunting fact that we are two as one but apart, we long to be in each other's company. but it's only a few days right? wrong. mentally, emotionally, I realise how much I lean on you, even if it's not noticeable, to you, to anyone. maybe that's the only reason I like to spend 6 hours of exhausting boredom, because I know I will smile with you for all those seconds I desire. maybe you're a drug, a dose of happiness that no one nor nothing can replace. in the worst of
Read more