Who I am.

insight eighteen love is something hard to define. a combination of positive emotions, pulling you towards a person whilst you laugh together, smiling in perfect happiness. i can only describe it as a chain, a long chain connecting you to that person, a strong feeling inside, a feeling of belonging when you are in their company. a tugging at your thought when you're alone, a need to see their face and feel there warmth. love. noun ~ a strong feeling of affection verb ~ to feel deep affection or sexual desire i don't think strong isn't the word. a feeling of adoration towards someone, it's like the blooming of flowers within your chest, a happiness that can only be achieved around that person, a subtle heat within your hands, where you crave their hand to be. even hearing their name catches all your attention, and the smallest things they do will make your love grow even more. being around them releases your worries, and makes your mind fill with goodness and ...

insight seventeen so today has been a good day. you can probably guess why. i spent the whole day with my favourite human. and on a scale of 1 to 10, he makes me an infinite amount of happy. just being with him, within his arms, makes me one of the happiest beings alive. he is sleeping now, and i bet he looks so darn cute, but i wish his name would pop up on my phone, just so i could see his face one more time before i fall into a deep dream of him. even if i close my eyes, i can still picture his beautiful eyes staring at me and smiling as i brush my fingers through his floppy brown hair. i wish i could be with him always, he just seems to change me, make me so much happier than i would be without. he almost imprints the smile onto my face and doesn't let it drop unless he bullies me about my small hands or if he pushes me off the sofa. sometimes i just stare, and take in all that he is. the beautiful being of amazingness. his cute little smile and shyness when he says somethin...

insight sixteen oh gosh how i love him, the way he laughs and then smiles at me, the way his hair flops and brushes through my fingers, the colours of his eyes when they look into mine, the funny nature he has and the caring character he hides from everyone else. his protectiveness over family and how much he cares, its the sweetest thing that i know. the time i spend with him is my favourite time of any week, the time we can spend alone together, just sitting, watching the sun set, talking about anything and everything. oh gosh how i miss him, how i miss his touch, how i miss his hugs, the warmth of his cheeks against my shoulder. i miss his presence, that instantly boosts me up from my normal pit of despair. i miss his everything, and i miss his kiss. oh gosh how amazing he is. a person who is so simple yet complex that sometimes i laugh at how much his personality differentiates. the funny, joking character he plays at school is nothing compared to the person he is ar...

insight nine  its late at night. too late. i should be amongst the counting sheep by now. people who are awake when only the stars are singing are alone, in love or on the other side of the world. if you're the first two at the same time... you're fucked. if you care or not, i had a good day today. but then as always my mood drops and happiness escapes me like a mole burrowing away from the sun. but the man behind my happiness is always there. late at night i think of him. his deep brown eyes swallowing me into a deep dream. his matching brown hair, almost effortlessly flopped over one eyebrow, a perfect softness to twist my fingers through. the black rims of his glasses shining against the light, making the dorky but cute impression arise. the smile that can lift my sorrows up in an instant creeps out as he catches me staring at his wonderful features. biting my lip, i lay my head down softly on his shoulder, wishing these moments would never en...

insight five  Isolated rain waters the horizon, as I jog through the woods behind my home. With dug out badger bungalows and lifted roots of willow trees, the forest made a peaceful motherland for all that lived. I slow down my pace when I reach the brown pipe, a long wide tube that can be balanced upon only by the most skilled of beings. Let it be said that I am not talented nor a professional gymnast but somehow I manage to remain upon it. Levelling my arms with my shoulders, I place one foot at a slight angle in front of the other, tracing my movements down the pole. Nearing the end of my performance, I leap into the air and travel a distance only applauded by a single squirrel in the nearby oak tree. Oblivious to the passing of time, I detect a small tear journey down my face, but it’s not me who is melancholy. Tilting my head towards the skies, I feel more droplets dance upon my cheeks. To avoid being showered from head to toe, I dash through the trees to search fo...