Who I am.

insight ninety findIng someone so perfect could take years. one individual has their lost soul, their other half to a full heart, in the world somewhere but when would they meet? to claim someone as your own and utterly adore them for every flaw, every mistake, every crack in their being - it is almost like a unreasonable love story. But if this is what love feels like, i don't ever want to be without it. i think i have found the one mortal i can call mine, the other piece to the puzzLe. he has these beautiful eyes that melt into my heart, as if a glance could calm me better than any words could ever. a smile, that smile, when he laughs or looks at me in loving dismay - an infectious happiness that can pull me out of the darkest lows. his skin, when i lie on his chest and feel his heart beating aside mine, tracing my fingers down his skin, freckles and all. arms around me like a wall, guard or shield, protecting me from anyone or anything that has Or could hurt me; the most ...

insight fiftyfive For 5 days of this week I travelled around Iceland, exploring and conquering fears whilst admiring the picturesque scenery. I also kept a diary and here it is... day one - 16.10.17 8am and the coach is packed, music blares from tangled headphones and happy children excite over the upcoming "fieldtrip" to the small cold country of Iceland. not caring about the lengthy travel ahead, she and i sang a duet from High School musical and consumed sugary delights to the point of a dancing high. Airport looming over head, the constant chatter and security guards made the mood less enjoyable. seated on the plane with a chicken wrap and coffee in hand, the houses disappeared into a satisfying cloudy mess that rose above any problems left behind. storm brewing behind, other flights are cancelled to areas affected, luckily we flew right into the cold winds of Iceland without any issues expect only finding the colouring books 10 minutes before landing. after a tire...

insight twentynine love letter noun a letter expressing romantic love for the recipient at midnight, tonight or this morning, i have decided to revisit a frequent topic that arises on my blog, simply because i wish to make him smile after I've ruined things... again. and so, after much googling and notes... here's the final product...

insight twenty these past two days have been some of my happiest. spending them with the best human on earth. just laughing and cuddling. making me forget everything. each kiss clearing my mind, making all my issues a thing of the past. just lying with him, being within his arms, feeling his warm with his heart beating softly against my ear, it's the best way to fall asleep. a sleep without a nightmare, he protects me, even throughout my rest. the clingy longing for him after he's gone, the hugs I miss so dearly when he's not by my side. our laughs and smiles that I treasure so close, the cute smile and giggle he does when I tickle his sides, the pure happiness that is shown, makes me feel a loving warmth within me, that grows like a flower, making my whole body lift with joy, with a short period of relief from the normal me. there are so many words to describe him, but none of them would fit perfectly. he is perfect. a super human that understands and doesn't at th...

insight eighteen love is something hard to define. a combination of positive emotions, pulling you towards a person whilst you laugh together, smiling in perfect happiness. i can only describe it as a chain, a long chain connecting you to that person, a strong feeling inside, a feeling of belonging when you are in their company. a tugging at your thought when you're alone, a need to see their face and feel there warmth. love. noun ~ a strong feeling of affection verb ~ to feel deep affection or sexual desire i don't think strong isn't the word. a feeling of adoration towards someone, it's like the blooming of flowers within your chest, a happiness that can only be achieved around that person, a subtle heat within your hands, where you crave their hand to be. even hearing their name catches all your attention, and the smallest things they do will make your love grow even more. being around them releases your worries, and makes your mind fill with goodness and ...

insight seventeen so today has been a good day. you can probably guess why. i spent the whole day with my favourite human. and on a scale of 1 to 10, he makes me an infinite amount of happy. just being with him, within his arms, makes me one of the happiest beings alive. he is sleeping now, and i bet he looks so darn cute, but i wish his name would pop up on my phone, just so i could see his face one more time before i fall into a deep dream of him. even if i close my eyes, i can still picture his beautiful eyes staring at me and smiling as i brush my fingers through his floppy brown hair. i wish i could be with him always, he just seems to change me, make me so much happier than i would be without. he almost imprints the smile onto my face and doesn't let it drop unless he bullies me about my small hands or if he pushes me off the sofa. sometimes i just stare, and take in all that he is. the beautiful being of amazingness. his cute little smile and shyness when he says somethin...

insight six  it's late at night. 1 am to be precise. everyone is sleeping, everything is quiet. it feels eerie and unnatural. but then again, it is the early night of a new day. 1:02 thinking of you 1:03 I miss you 1:04 I want you 1:05 I love you 1:06 thinking of love 1:07 hating it too 1:08...  too tired to open my eyes, but my brains awake with you. thoughts run in my mind, not telling me sleep. keeping me from thinking of anything else. needing your embrace due to a broken heater. needing that comfort I desire most late at night. nights like these where I need your calm words. loving voice and warm hands. feeling sick with the fact I haven't eaten. feeling lonely with the fact that you aren't here beside me. with your brown floppy hair and your dusky brown eyes. with your cheesy smile and contagious laugh. I'm lonely without the love I don't know how to feel. lonely without the trust I don't rely on. lonely without the lover in my life that keeps me...