Who I am.

insight eightytwo  it’s at this time of year when I miss you most. another year without you and i need you more than ever. i saw a rainbow today, across the sky near where i now go to school, when listening to a song about losing someone you love that touches my heart every time it plays. i went back to our school, collecting some old work from before, to a place that holds so many memories and pain that i wished not to stay for long. you were there, i felt it, i felt you there with me in the hall, as if you had never left. i left you there, trapped in that school because how can i imagine you anywhere else? it’s coming up to christmas and i miss you most. i need you here to shower with gifts and a card holding love enclosed within. a merrry christmas feeling not so jolly without you, a saddening weight in my heart for you family at this time of year. another christmas without you, my angel, another festivity without you to sing with, or to enjoy snow days with, or moan how col...

insight thirtynine Dear my love, i hope you're not too warm up there, maybe wear sun cream in case you burn your pale skin. i have been thinking of you, a lot recently. i sit next to you in geography, can you imagine us pair every lesson... sir would go mad?! i chewed on some chewing gum today, mint flavoured and i remember how you used to sneeze each time you smelt mint, a cute high pitched sneeze every time. school has change, time goes on but i guess everyone has changed. we have welcomed a new member to our friend group, i hope you laugh with us. she's a phan member so im sure you can make an exception. our friend, our squish, has been struggling a lot, her anxiety is through the roof and i just want to roll her up in bubble wrap so she's safe forever. don't blame yourself, she is missing you as are we all. it's surprising how things can change in 17 weeks and 14 days, 133 days. i have lost the love of my life over my stupid mental health, you could've l...

insight twentyone Lucy. My angel up above. The sky is the limit for you. The best and most perfect girl that was chosen to join your dad. The girl that unknowingly meant so much to us. We, your friends miss you. Though we may not talk about you all the time, in our minds we are just avoiding crying over your untimely depart from earth. Now you've been placed beside your dad within nature, to be released into the clouds, like the balloons that stopped the hail from falling upon our tear stained sleeves. I still miss your small lips that formed a large smile each morning, even though you hadn't fell asleep until 2am. I still miss your quirky hair and the daily bus ride that I'd spend quickly glancing at your make up without you thinking I'm weird. The pain still remains within me. And I'm not sure it will ever fade. A longing for you, a internal crying for you; my best friend for 3 and a half years. You knew me but never judged me. And you let me know you ...