Who I am.

insight six  it's late at night. 1 am to be precise. everyone is sleeping, everything is quiet. it feels eerie and unnatural. but then again, it is the early night of a new day. 1:02 thinking of you 1:03 I miss you 1:04 I want you 1:05 I love you 1:06 thinking of love 1:07 hating it too 1:08...  too tired to open my eyes, but my brains awake with you. thoughts run in my mind, not telling me sleep. keeping me from thinking of anything else. needing your embrace due to a broken heater. needing that comfort I desire most late at night. nights like these where I need your calm words. loving voice and warm hands. feeling sick with the fact I haven't eaten. feeling lonely with the fact that you aren't here beside me. with your brown floppy hair and your dusky brown eyes. with your cheesy smile and contagious laugh. I'm lonely without the love I don't know how to feel. lonely without the trust I don't rely on. lonely without the lover in my life that keeps me...

insight three  januarys nearly over and i've done nothing... - - - - Smiling at the golden sun beams that disperse over the gloomy village, i grab my shoes and run out the door, excited to enjoy a warm mornings stroll to the forests. Through the branches and tangled grass i see the oak tree, a tall climbable creature. The vast trunk carved in by lovers marking their unpromising future. Suicidal leaves depart from their friends, wanting a life along the soft uneven floor. Thoughts of family gatherings cluster in my mind, red checked blanket and baskets of sandwiches, the memories made here were the happiest my mind can produce. that's all i can manage for now... 👽