Who I am.

insight eightyone this isn’t living - a poem im still alive but im barely breathing the lyrics i now understand the darkness haunting my mind every thought shadowed upon dull in the eyes  where the dark lines lie barely seeing the sky of blue between the dark clouds so grey. a smile for her, a smile for him lies beneath broken lips a frown for the mirror the truth setting in tick tock tick tock, clock chiming loud midnight dawns and the pen still writing dragging the words out. too tired to love too exhausted to be broken the weight on shoulders pulling at the strings in reality wishing there would be another way to stop time in its tracks to have the time to 'live' but if this is living, i’d rather be  dead

insight sixtythree touch i'm now numb  to your sharp touch tracing through my skin. numb to sensations that travel up my spine the blank relief  which once was new which once supported me you touched the blemishes tallied the cries you touched the places no one can see  yet made them watch me  alone - a poem one day forward  two days back smiles and floral  all turned to black not noticing how the laughter died music so loud it muffled the cries.

insight sixtytwo i found a poem... written in 2014... enjoy?.... still has some relevance i guess ?? when night approaches we get excited about the pictures we will draw adding more and more rain oozes from our skin as we battle the demon within the morning after we want it again knowing it will always end the same we are children of the night dark calling to their delight bodies with battle scars as painful kind of art of ours we aren't heaven's angels but hell's heroes 

insight thirtytwo you wanna know why I always say goodnight, sleep well, I love you  when you don't reply.  it's because if something happens  to me when the skies are dark  and the world is silent  and I disappear from you  I've told you the truth and something I'd want you to remember  and I'd know  if something  happened to you.  you would have know the truth  and I would of told you what  I really mean  something that will never ever  change; the fact that  I love you more than anything  more than infinite money  because money can't buy you happiness  you give me happiness  us gives me something to live for  something to hold onto  so thank you and goodnight, sleep well I love you  👽