Who I am.

insight seventynine A few small poems recovered from the notes in my phone -  jumper a burgundy hood hides my messy hair ties ravelled within it the sleeves too long for my arms like little mittens covering my hands just my finger tips showing proud deeper into the woven material is a boy a tall handsome man with a piercing smile bright eyes and a smart mind he being one of few things i hold close to my heart and by close i mean within it a boy who fought to be there a scent of him throws me off tracks my mind wishing it to be a hug from his long arms fitting into these long sleeves - wrapping them around me a smell that i cant unrecognize  subtle reminding of who i have near smiling before the glazed surface my rosy cheeks staring back at me hiding the lines from smiles around my mouth with the oversized phenomenon that is this jacket this hoodie that represents so much more than just warmth also him, and love, and happ...

insight sixtyseven individual lines of thought - of love i never intended for it to get this far as lips perk into a smile. open arms wrap around your waist; vivid heart beat dancing against my chest, every second an hour of indulgence. his shoulders tall to reach with isolated happiness in that moment - much love shared from two. i'm happy, i finally am. he is my happy . :)

insight sixtyfive i honestly just want to write, rant, talk about what's racing around my head, racing down my face, racing like my heart. him, him and him. they know how it happened, you're no longer  the victim. it wasn't love or passion more of a complex act of control  and intentional scarring. hands intertwining, fingers latching on. get out of my head. its the late night mysterious boy  with the beckoning call of lust and need for a girl to comfort his wants, but that's no longer me. bodies closing in, eyes locking together. banish it from my mind. your warmth drawing me near, a comfort and safe place to escape to. a single conversation bringing a smile, always a smile. never anything less. cheeks rose with admiration, a simple brief touch. a welcoming imagination i cherish.