Who I am.

insight six  it's late at night. 1 am to be precise. everyone is sleeping, everything is quiet. it feels eerie and unnatural. but then again, it is the early night of a new day. 1:02 thinking of you 1:03 I miss you 1:04 I want you 1:05 I love you 1:06 thinking of love 1:07 hating it too 1:08...  too tired to open my eyes, but my brains awake with you. thoughts run in my mind, not telling me sleep. keeping me from thinking of anything else. needing your embrace due to a broken heater. needing that comfort I desire most late at night. nights like these where I need your calm words. loving voice and warm hands. feeling sick with the fact I haven't eaten. feeling lonely with the fact that you aren't here beside me. with your brown floppy hair and your dusky brown eyes. with your cheesy smile and contagious laugh. I'm lonely without the love I don't know how to feel. lonely without the trust I don't rely on. lonely without the lover in my life that keeps me...

insight four  Waking up to my alarm screaming, i stumble over to my desk and attempt to open my blind eyes. Stretching off the night, i listen to the silence... no children or parents yelling... Seeming too perfect to be my life, i wander into to each room of the house. No one. Am i dreaming? I dress in jeans and an average top, still unsure of this day. I check my hair, eyes and birth marks to make sure im still me. Grabbing some breakfast of pancakes with banana and maple syrup, i sit down to take in the happy silence that hugs me. Climbing the stairs into my room, my bed is made even though im all alone. Someone's here? I check each room carefully, making sure the imposter isn't hiding. Breathing a sigh of a relief, i put my vinyl player on and hum the rhythm of my favourite song. A small smile grew across my face as I looked out my bedroom window, gazing onto the orange and red flames of the sunrise. Silently, wind blew through the forest beyond, causing ...