Who I am.

insight eightytwo  it’s at this time of year when I miss you most. another year without you and i need you more than ever. i saw a rainbow today, across the sky near where i now go to school, when listening to a song about losing someone you love that touches my heart every time it plays. i went back to our school, collecting some old work from before, to a place that holds so many memories and pain that i wished not to stay for long. you were there, i felt it, i felt you there with me in the hall, as if you had never left. i left you there, trapped in that school because how can i imagine you anywhere else? it’s coming up to christmas and i miss you most. i need you here to shower with gifts and a card holding love enclosed within. a merrry christmas feeling not so jolly without you, a saddening weight in my heart for you family at this time of year. another christmas without you, my angel, another festivity without you to sing with, or to enjoy snow days with, or moan how col...

insight seventeen so today has been a good day. you can probably guess why. i spent the whole day with my favourite human. and on a scale of 1 to 10, he makes me an infinite amount of happy. just being with him, within his arms, makes me one of the happiest beings alive. he is sleeping now, and i bet he looks so darn cute, but i wish his name would pop up on my phone, just so i could see his face one more time before i fall into a deep dream of him. even if i close my eyes, i can still picture his beautiful eyes staring at me and smiling as i brush my fingers through his floppy brown hair. i wish i could be with him always, he just seems to change me, make me so much happier than i would be without. he almost imprints the smile onto my face and doesn't let it drop unless he bullies me about my small hands or if he pushes me off the sofa. sometimes i just stare, and take in all that he is. the beautiful being of amazingness. his cute little smile and shyness when he says somethin...

insight nine  its late at night. too late. i should be amongst the counting sheep by now. people who are awake when only the stars are singing are alone, in love or on the other side of the world. if you're the first two at the same time... you're fucked. if you care or not, i had a good day today. but then as always my mood drops and happiness escapes me like a mole burrowing away from the sun. but the man behind my happiness is always there. late at night i think of him. his deep brown eyes swallowing me into a deep dream. his matching brown hair, almost effortlessly flopped over one eyebrow, a perfect softness to twist my fingers through. the black rims of his glasses shining against the light, making the dorky but cute impression arise. the smile that can lift my sorrows up in an instant creeps out as he catches me staring at his wonderful features. biting my lip, i lay my head down softly on his shoulder, wishing these moments would never en...