Who I am.

insight fifty 2nd holiday... same old camera... daily writing... whilst in Gisburn, West Yorkshire... 28th August 2017 the art of a new day dawns pink wakening sun blue surprises spread within cloud grey headphones blast calm red top hanging down black thoughts settling in (well that was shit... shitty day) 29th August 2017 tomorrow i recognise every detail details one wants never showing all details details everyone always disguises (ooh secret message... ooh bad day) 30 th August 2017 crisp white sheets twisted round tired eyes squinting in the peeking sun from curtains closed flat white duvet welcomes and fluffy socks warm whilst howls hoot in trees (sleepy day...) 31 th August 2017 separated by emotion or by mental happiness it could be stability divide by a smile or a pair of tired eyes unfair rules without trust unfair happiness throughout the mind (more arguments... fuck sake) 1st...

insight thirtysix I've fucked up. I've fucked up so bad it hurts. I told you so I told you I'm a horrible person, that I put people down, make them unhappy. I'm poison, I'm a waste, I'm not worth it. but you. you've given me something to live for. you've given me that star of hope hope that everything will be okay that I have to live on. but as I said I've fucked up. I've been horrible without meaning to, and now I feel more guilt than ever. all I want is me and you to work, to be happy, to be together. and as I lie in bed rocking back and forth screaming into my pillow tearing flooding down my cheeks I know I can't deal with life without you I can't live life without one hug off you that makes me feel warm I can't live without your amazing smile and laugh that brightens up any day. I can't live without your warm lips on my cheek as we laugh in the garden about who knows what. i can't live without you. ...