Who I am.

insight eightyeight the issue - a poem its not me, you or the rest nor is it school, work or no sleep its not the threats to hit, break my outsides and in. its not the push for independence or everyday 'sort yourself out' s the anger in your eyes, though you say its your fault, like he did its certainly not the father problems or mother ones alike, or the names, self-centred worries that clearly are just about you its never the whispers behind closed doors, screams with slammed doors, not the one-off comments or the pain in my chest, my head from you... its just me. the issue is me.

insight fiftytwo                    enjoy a lil' memo i wrote whilst mid-breakdown own habits tapping me insane a prisoner within my own self my past guarding it shut inside tears slide for the torture of my own problems, failures, illness understanding? no i escape to any world with the boy who i love? cuddles with laughter, love? when sat on my sheets arm around waist though my tears slide he says hey, it'll be okay then he fades away and it's dark whilst im still sat on my sheets hey, it'll be okay voice cracking through lie hey, it'll be just fine i promise i'll be here for you he said but then he left phaha i dunno also, i got some of these blogs on a website thing... pretty cool... here they are... https://iam1in4.com/2017/09/effects-of-grief/ https://iam1in4.com/2017/09/a-toxic-relationship/ https://iam1in4.com/2017/09/feeling-empty-an-empty-poem/ https://iam1in4.com/2017/09/at-the-worst/ 👎 ...

insight twentytwo   our angel i remember the first smile you gave me, "wanna sit together on the bus?" you said. a friendship bloomed that morning as the bus left in the foggy sunrise. - i remember you wrapping your arms around me, the delight from that gifted pencil case. a single boost of joy given to me before you left for home. - but i remember the tears running down my face, "she's gone" and my phone hitting the floor. the slow motion running of my mum as screams in pain left my mouth. -  as i remember lying in that empty car park our warm hands intertwined in love. night drawing cold as the stars shine up high and now i can watch you within them. <3 👽