Who I am.

insight seven Trigger warning - insinuation of SA (entirely fictional) I flinch as I run my fingers over my legs, over the white lines standing out upon my slightly toasted flesh. Don’t think about it, don’t think about that night. Opening my eyes slowly, I flash back to the evening of my nightmares, and all the tears come flooding back. Near my left leg a man’s hand lies and his other silences my screams. Torn from life, I lay there lifeless, scared of everything that might come. Waking up in the dark, my head pounds as I try to work out where I am.   An orange glimmer of a street light shines behind me as I comb my fingers through my blood washed hair. Nervously, I creep through the streets, attempting to find my way home. Tired and fragile, I lock my front door and fall sleep on the cold sofa. Tiptoeing into my room, I change into a casual outfit and throw my blood stained clothes away. Opening my curtains, I realise how different my life is going to be after that night. ...

insight two         lets be creative... Icy air hits my lungs as i step inside my room, lit only by the sinking sun upon the horizon. With tired eyes and weary limbs, i lie on my bed, staring at the plain ceiling for what feels like hours until i hear the birds screaming outside. Another fight between the robin and sparrow keeps me entertained for a few minutes, but all i can think about is sleep. Needing to cleanse my skin, i stare in the mirror at myself, the rough uniform covered in stains of who knows what. Taking off my tie, i gently place on my desk, as if it was important. Tingling sensations run down my spine as i stand in my underwear, facing the mirror, in the frosty cold, wondering who would ever love... this. Opening and closing my eyes as if to awake from a nightmare, i inhale a universe of air and exhale it deeply. Carefully i remove my bra and underwear, sighing at my stretch marks, thinking about how i hate my chest. Untangling my ha...