Who I am.

insight ninetytwo so much is happening right now. emotions are running high. here’s what i have to say at present... i feel like I’m grieving for something. maybe for school, the fact we didn't finish the typical way - how the rug was pulled from under our feet and winded us, gasping for air while we watch the world crumble around us. the way all of these posters, revision cards and notes were for nothing. all this paper will be burnt and nothing ever needed to be done. i feel hollow and sad. crying randomly and not holding back. my chest hurts and i am just sad. alone i am sad. i’m giving myself things to do to keep myself busy but that won’t last long. 26 weeks until moving day. now what. what is the purpose of anything, what is the reason to get out of bed. what is. anything anymore. but i think to myself “this is such as first world problem”. having exams cancelled in a free school system. being upset over work i can do because i can afford the stationary and transport ...

insight seventy delve deep into my thoughts and swim in the imaginary pools of wonders and worries. hands shaking, fingers twitching, legs jittering - the countdown remains small. the door sounds, a tall expected figure... wow he looks cute . settling my dancing heart rate, we laugh and smile until perfectly intertwined on the couch, Netflix buzzing in the background. his soft smelling hair leans comfortably on my shoulder, fingers locked in fingers, resisting the urge to tease one another. talking about past days and present memories, he pauses and smiles at me... and for a second or two I just admire those earthy eyes, natural wonders that soothe into my soul, yet creating an uplifted heartbeat that echoes throughout my chest... he is so pretty . legs side by side, I wrap my warm arms around his upper body, weaving my fingertips through his dusky brown hair, smooth waves of apple trees that fill my senses. his persistent mocking results in me lightly punching him in the arms, ...

insight five  Isolated rain waters the horizon, as I jog through the woods behind my home. With dug out badger bungalows and lifted roots of willow trees, the forest made a peaceful motherland for all that lived. I slow down my pace when I reach the brown pipe, a long wide tube that can be balanced upon only by the most skilled of beings. Let it be said that I am not talented nor a professional gymnast but somehow I manage to remain upon it. Levelling my arms with my shoulders, I place one foot at a slight angle in front of the other, tracing my movements down the pole. Nearing the end of my performance, I leap into the air and travel a distance only applauded by a single squirrel in the nearby oak tree. Oblivious to the passing of time, I detect a small tear journey down my face, but it’s not me who is melancholy. Tilting my head towards the skies, I feel more droplets dance upon my cheeks. To avoid being showered from head to toe, I dash through the trees to search fo...