Who I am.

insight fortytwo i laugh loudly with dead set eyes, thinking about something of the opposite emotion in which i seem. smiling at the boy i drift from, the walks out the room just like we never spoke like we did, like we may have done for more than the time before you cut yourself from me. the silence never came yet i felt so alone, holding your arm down the crowded corridor, im guessing my anxious flare got the better of me without you noticing. he sits in front of my table, tilting his head around whilst smiling, knowing i was looking at that gorgeous grin i hadn't seen in over a week. i was doing so well at not loving you, now look what a mess you've made. since the start of last period, no work had been done and constant giggles were exchanged over some lovers we have deep in our thoughts, yours amazingly perfect and mine sinking me slowly like a broken boat. maybe being at home may cheer me up, music blasting or a Netflix show in bed making me feel comfortable, safe and t...

insight twentyfive oh fuck it's bad. so so bad. i am addicted and i don't think there's a cure im addicted to your taste, your lips connecting with mine, soft then all at once. the subtle warmth of your hands that trail up and down my back, skin naked to your touch. i crave your strong shoulders that mould around my arms, allowing me to bury my head into your chest as i laugh. i miss your smile, the blushing of your cheeks as you say something most adorable with your hair flopping the wrong way. i want your body next to mine, the urge to be within a noses touch, the knowing that you're there, even when i am sleeping. i need your laugh, the different genuine laugh you do around me, the one i crave the most. im addicted to your scent, the same smell i can identify anywhere, the scent that envelopes my lungs as i squeeze you tight against my face. i need your hands, your big rough hands that draw spirals on my skin, relaxing me into a calm dream of empty though...

insight twentyfour a warm spring morning creeps through my curtains as the early birds talk within the branches about the daily flight to the feeders, more awake and alert than I. dazed by the beams of gold, I stretch my weary limbs and reach for my phone to check Snapchat, being the stereotypical teenager I am. after much scrolling and yawning, i lunge out of bed and take a jump scare look at my bed hair in the finger stained mirror while fiddling in my draw to find the brush, and maybe the a hair bobble too. much time later, my clothes are on - blue jeans and a grey embroided jumper - and i am heading downstairs to gulp down a cup of luke-warm tea, too happy to be exhausted. singing the new Shawn Mendes song, I enter the garden to say a high pitched hello to my puppy who flipped his toy into the muddy puddle that uses to be the chicken coop - "what did you do that for?" sun gleaming down upon the veg patch, I grab my phone to text my boyfriend about a walk I've ment...