Who I am.

insight ninety findIng someone so perfect could take years. one individual has their lost soul, their other half to a full heart, in the world somewhere but when would they meet? to claim someone as your own and utterly adore them for every flaw, every mistake, every crack in their being - it is almost like a unreasonable love story. But if this is what love feels like, i don't ever want to be without it. i think i have found the one mortal i can call mine, the other piece to the puzzLe. he has these beautiful eyes that melt into my heart, as if a glance could calm me better than any words could ever. a smile, that smile, when he laughs or looks at me in loving dismay - an infectious happiness that can pull me out of the darkest lows. his skin, when i lie on his chest and feel his heart beating aside mine, tracing my fingers down his skin, freckles and all. arms around me like a wall, guard or shield, protecting me from anyone or anything that has Or could hurt me; the most ...

insight eightyeight the issue - a poem its not me, you or the rest nor is it school, work or no sleep its not the threats to hit, break my outsides and in. its not the push for independence or everyday 'sort yourself out' s the anger in your eyes, though you say its your fault, like he did its certainly not the father problems or mother ones alike, or the names, self-centred worries that clearly are just about you its never the whispers behind closed doors, screams with slammed doors, not the one-off comments or the pain in my chest, my head from you... its just me. the issue is me.

insight sixtythree touch i'm now numb  to your sharp touch tracing through my skin. numb to sensations that travel up my spine the blank relief  which once was new which once supported me you touched the blemishes tallied the cries you touched the places no one can see  yet made them watch me  alone - a poem one day forward  two days back smiles and floral  all turned to black not noticing how the laughter died music so loud it muffled the cries.

insight twenty these past two days have been some of my happiest. spending them with the best human on earth. just laughing and cuddling. making me forget everything. each kiss clearing my mind, making all my issues a thing of the past. just lying with him, being within his arms, feeling his warm with his heart beating softly against my ear, it's the best way to fall asleep. a sleep without a nightmare, he protects me, even throughout my rest. the clingy longing for him after he's gone, the hugs I miss so dearly when he's not by my side. our laughs and smiles that I treasure so close, the cute smile and giggle he does when I tickle his sides, the pure happiness that is shown, makes me feel a loving warmth within me, that grows like a flower, making my whole body lift with joy, with a short period of relief from the normal me. there are so many words to describe him, but none of them would fit perfectly. he is perfect. a super human that understands and doesn't at th...