Who I am.

insight eightysix  Side note – i went to a zoo workshop to learn about phobias, specifically animal based ones. We were shown different ways of treating them, including hypnosis. You are my happy place. Arms outstretched, cold fingertips touching mine as you draw me into the light, stepping down the marble stairs one at a time; hypnosis and relaxation sending me to oblivion and seeing you there, my happy place as he called it. With closed eyes, I imagine your blonde fringe and pigtails, light pink lipstick and short skirt with knee-high socks, those shiny black shoes that you click together at the bus stop - hands outstretched to greet me in the morning. I imagine this as he tells us to reflect on a happy place, a happy time in which we felt the most relaxed and content and all I can think is you. I think about you holding my hand, small fingers twisted round mine, walking together into that empty carpark, yellow light being the only thing allowing us to see. We lay on the flo...

insight eleven We counted the stars in the dark sky while lying in the empty car park, cold hands intertwined. We cuddled up while watching a movie with our friend, too comfy to move. We "practiced" our performances after school, eating cookies and giggling behind the curtain. We lay together on the bench, twisted into each other as we collected heat from each other. We made the memories that were some of my happiest, and still make me smile now. Not a single minute goes by without thinking you're going to text me a funny Korean meme, or some weird song about who knows what. But to think that you're watching me, now, I wish i could of said goodbye, and held your hand one last time. The feeling of emptiness consumes me and even now the lump in my throat grows, tears running down my cheeks. We miss you, and there is nothing more we want than you back here, laughing with us on the tennis courts. Of all the flowers in the world, they chose the ...