11:14

insight eighteen
love is something hard to define. a combination of positive emotions, pulling you towards a person whilst you laugh together, smiling in perfect happiness. i can only describe it as a chain, a long chain connecting you to that person, a strong feeling inside, a feeling of belonging when you are in their company. a tugging at your thought when you're alone, a need to see their face and feel there warmth.

love.

noun ~ a strong feeling of affection

verb ~ to feel deep affection or sexual desire

i don't think strong isn't the word. a feeling of adoration towards someone, it's like the blooming of flowers within your chest, a happiness that can only be achieved around that person, a subtle heat within your hands, where you crave their hand to be. even hearing their name catches all your attention, and the smallest things they do will make your love grow even more. being around them releases your worries, and makes your mind fill with goodness and cheer, not sadness or stress. even when they have just got up, or they're ill, you still think they look their best and you adore the tiny details that may not be seen at first.

love can change people, make a side of them come forth, for their lover, a side in which their partner or anyone has ever seen before. and this side is the side that is perfect to you, the goofy smiles and inappropriate humour that contrasts the cuddly nature and clingy affection that they show you. between all the words, that cannot describe what love is, you feel your best, your happiest when in their company.

love is within me for this boy, a boy who makes my heart tingle as he hugs me, his warms arms shielding me from my daily sadness, the most perfect boy i know. his smile and laughs are the things i treasure most, the different smiles that never cease to make me smile. your big hands slipping my small ones, the soft warmth building between them, whilst we walk along the forest paths around our homes. the ticking hours that we enjoy together, the most flawless moment of time that make me the best version happy i have ever been. though i tell him always, i will never change my thoughts of him....

you have the most wonderful eyes i have ever stared into, the glimmer of happiness that always twinkles within them always makes my day.

your brown floppy hair is the most relaxing thing to comb my fingers through whilst we lay together, it makes me smile as it does you.

your smile is the most infectious sort of happiest i have ever experienced.

every laugh you can do makes me laugh, especially your cute little one you do when you bully me.
your personality is so interesting yet simple and i love every inch of it.
i love how protective you are over me, and over family.

i trust you with everything and i promise you i do.

you're so strong hearted and passionate about what you want, and who you care for.

you're set on what you want and what you want to do, and i love how committed you are.

you are the most caring person i have ever known and you are so kind it is unreal, you care for me like no one else before.

your nature and way of thought is the most intriguing thing i have ever seen, the glimmers of hope and seriousness i thought were rare have appeared a few times.

generally, to me, you are perfect, a perfect balance of jokey and caring, a perfect smile and a perfect mind, a perfect body and a perfect sort of person i can allow to bully me for as long as i shall live.

also, nice arse ;)

for a while now i have been thinking, day dreaming about you and i have come to many conclusions. i have realised that you mean more than life to me, and you have saved me from myself, from the bad thoughts that could of become a reality, but you stopped me. you have made me the most happiest i have been in a long time, and you have made me see that things do get better, and some people do have all goo intentions, even when so many just want to harm the people they call friends. you have made me see that i can trust someone with my inner thoughts, and that they will help if you let them. and you do help me so much, so much in fact that i can't imagine a life without you. you have also made it clear to me that i am lovable, and i do deserve to be cared for and even when very few "friends" actually acknowledge my existence, i do deserve to be appreciated for things to do for people.

you, my bear, have my thanks coming your way, because there is no way i can express how much i adore you without thanking you for everything you have done for me, whether you know you have or not...

[ty = thank you]

ty for making each day so much more enjoyable, even it's only a good morning message.

ty for giving me the time i need, and allowing me to have my own space too.

ty for teaching me little things about life.

ty for making me smile at least 10 times a day, that's quite rare for a stupid person like me.

ty for allowing me to be in your life, and become like a family member within your heart.

ty for blessing me with your gorgeous appearance and amazing personality.

ty for talking about your hobbies and showing me what you love to do.

ty for your goofy nature, forever making me laugh with your forgetfulness and clumsiness (knees and elbows)

ty for stroking my back and playing with my hair when im sleepy, relaxing me even more when im with you.

ty for supporting me and making me promise things that will benefit me.

ty for helping me with things you may not understand but still try to help, which you do.

ty for loving me and caring for me on a day to day basis.

ty for checking up on me, and understanding when im low.

ty for showing me your affection and enjoying my hobbies with me.

ty for putting up with me, and laughing at my goofiness also.

ty for being so kind and supportive with me, for looking after me like a little kid.

ty for being the best boyfriend i have ever had.

ty for being my bestfriend and soul mate at the same time.

ty for all your huge bear hugs that i adore so much.

and thank you for your soft kisses that make me smile even as i type these words.

soulmate.

noun ~ a person with whom you feel an immediate connection with upon the exact moment of meeting them.

within us, i feel like our soulmate status has grown stronger since we used to joke around on the bus, playing games and bullying my idiot ex-boyfriend. just the bond between our personalities and morals has grown stronger within the times we have learnt more about each other. but i can safely say i think that you're my soulmate, because i feel it, within my chest and within my mind.

i discovered various cool words that perfectly describe you or us... and i think you'll understand why they suit me and you also...

redamancy.

noun~ the act of loving the ones who loves you; a love returned in full

pulchritudinous.

adj.~ (of people only) having incredible physical beauty

[that's you Cupcake]

natstukashii.

adj.~ of some small thing that brings you suddenly joyously back to fond memoires, not with a wistful longing for what has past, but with an appreciation of the good times

[e.g. you've been framed = distracting Thomas from our silent kisses]

alexithymia.

noun ~ inability to describe one's feelings

gigil.

noun ~ uncontrollable urge to pinch or squeeze someone that is unbearably cute

[hmmm... you]

eunoia.

noun ~ beautiful thinking; a well mind

[yours completely]

mephobia.

noun ~ fear of becoming so awesome that the human race can't handle it and everybody dies

[me obviously... ;) ]

wonderwall.

adj.~ someone you find yourself thinking about all the time; the person you are completely infatuated with

ludic.

adj.~ full of fun and high spirits

[definITEly you]

to you, and you know who you are, i cannot form a sentence or find the words to describe how much i love you, you're like the epiphany of happiness within my life. and i wish to keep you within my life for as long as i possibly can. and i vow a lot of things to you....

i promise to not talk to anyone in that way whilst with you.

i promise to not do anything that may harm me.

i promise not to cheat or break your trust.

i promise to keep any secrets or issues you may have within my mind.

i promise not to say anything bad behind your back, and to defend you from anyone who may insult you.

i promise to tell you everything and not hide anything from you.

i promise not to lie to you.

i promise to care for you and always be here when you need a loving hug.

i promise to listen to you and to try to understand about your bike stuff.

i promise to sort any arguments between us and always talk to you about things.

i promise to try my hardest with getting happier.

i promise to never make you change or put you down on purpose.

i promise to never hurt you intentionally.

and i promise to love you through whatever.

if i could find a word to describe how much i need you in my life, i would use it but right now i have no idea what that word could be. you're not a wish, you're a want, and like a drug i crave you in my life. you are the one person that keeps me going and keeps me from going completely crazy. you make me uncontrollably happy and i don't even know how you do it. you must have magical powers or something because just coming to your door makes me immediately happier. i don't even know how to describe how much i appreciate your existence in my life, and i may not say it or show it enough but i adore all the small things about you, all the tiny things that happen, they make me smile the most...

the little sections of hair that flop in front of your eyebrows as i brush my fingers through your hair.

the cute squishiness of your face whilst you are sleepy.

the softness of your lips against my forehead.

the shy smile you do when i bully you.

the glimmer in your eye as you laugh when you tease me or say "hang on a minute"

the seriousness in your smile as you talk calmly to me about bad things i say.

the cute jealously in your voice as you talk about the other boy.

the funny faces you pull while you do stupid impressions then laugh.

the attempts to cover up mistakes then you blush and go shy.

the cute slowness in your voice when you go sleepy, whilst cuddling into my jumper.

i have been in a few relationships, some serious some just stupid time-passers, but none of them compare to what i have now. even though im your first girlfriend, you act like you have had enough experience to keep a strong one. and i feel as if we will never argue seriously, because we both will sort things, properly. you are just such an awesome person, i want to lock you up and keep you forever so i can have cuddles always and never be sad without you. i need you in my life, and i want you in it too...

i like you

i love you

👽