10:45

insight seven
(might be triggering but it is all fictional)

I flinch as I run my fingers over my legs, over the white lines standing out upon my slightly toasted flesh. Don’t think about it, don’t think about that night.

Opening my eyes slowly, I flash back to the evening of my nightmares, and all the tears come flooding back. Near my left leg a man’s hand lies and his other silences my screams. Torn from life, I lay there lifeless, scared of everything that might come. Waking up in the dark, my head pounds as I try to work out where I am.  An orange glimmer of a street light shines behind me as I comb my fingers through my blood washed hair. Nervously, I creep through the streets, attempting to find my way home. Tired and fragile, I lock my front door and fall sleep on the cold sofa. Tiptoeing into my room, I change into a casual outfit and throw my blood stained clothes away. Opening my curtains, I realise how different my life is going to be after that night.

Breathing heavily I flash back to reality, tears rolling down my frozen cheeks. Running from the memories, I chase the sun into the woods, trying to release my sadness into the wild. Electrical pulses run through my body, reminding me what I’ve done. Aching all over, I walk home, regretting running that far. Turning to the mirror, I laugh at what I see, I shouldn’t be scared of him anymore; he’s gone.

Horridly, I stare at my naked body as I step into the shower. Enveloping my body like a blanket, the hot water burns at my skin, making it fade into a vibrant red. A frequent throb runs through my arms as the shower water changes colour. Nothing is felt until my head slams against the wall, my eyesight blurring into one shade of black. You never escape the past, sometimes it just consumes you.

Most people find peace knowing their criminal is gone.
Others find other ways of relief.
Relief for me was painting on my skin, a red picture of beauty.
Every stroke making me more lifeless.

stay safe everybody, never walk alone in the dark.

👽