10:42


insight eightysix 
Side note – i went to a zoo workshop to learn about phobias, specifically animal based ones. We were shown different ways of treating them, including hypnosis.
You are my happy place.
Arms outstretched, cold fingertips touching mine as you draw me into the light, stepping down the marble stairs one at a time; hypnosis and relaxation sending me to oblivion and seeing you there, my happy place as he called it. With closed eyes, I imagine your blonde fringe and pigtails, light pink lipstick and short skirt with knee-high socks, those shiny black shoes that you click together at the bus stop - hands outstretched to greet me in the morning. I imagine this as he tells us to reflect on a happy place, a happy time in which we felt the most relaxed and content and all I can think is you. I think about you holding my hand, small fingers twisted round mine, walking together into that empty carpark, yellow light being the only thing allowing us to see. We lay on the floor rocks sticking into our backs but not caring because nothing could come between us and the stars that we counted for hours and hours on end. My happy place continued to the time we let each other go, a small kiss and hug goodnight, nothing romantic, or maybe not to you anyway.
 I don’t know why I thought of that as my happy place, short lived memories turned to black as I remember the hurt that continued from your passing. The choking feeling jolting into my throat as i miss you so painfully, again and always.
 That happy place still sticks in my head, every second we spent knowing each other, loving each other - I wish I could get it all back. Nothing could ever amount to that happy place, that special place in my heart reserved only for you.

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