7:42


insight fiftyseven
throughout my life i have kept many diaries, and after reading my most recent one, i want to punch my past self square in the face. after doing so my hand hurts, but i thought to make my life into a sort of poem.
here is 509 days of my life - April 11th 2016 to September 1st 2017.
43977600 seconds, 732960 minutes, 12216 hours or 72.71 weeks of my life given to you in single sentence insights.

a journal, not a diary because it sounds too childish
today was actually a fairly good day
finally on track to being 100% happy
he said he felt worthless but i made it better
today was utterly shit, low emotion but smiling.
cba to talk sorry
i didn't see him, i miss him
i haven't smiled this much in a while
he actually loves me, for me
friends are just okay
so much drama going on
i slapped |Emma for a fiver
i want to be Margo from paper towns
i forgot to write, sorry i guess
math - boring, tech - boring, French - boring
does he actually love me?
i hate history
sleeping pattern is proper messed up
friends? phones dry as a desert
sorry
sorry for not writing again
he cheated, i trusted him. why.
thoughts, urges, emotions all coming back
i am so happy, but im not
how do i deserve a boy like him?
but now i feel like crap
cried a lot
i got removed from PE #rebel
he ran up behind me, and hugged me goodbye
i cant even process this
it started off bad
he made everything okay
i got his jacket because i was cold, bad idea i know
camping packing list - a lot
took some pictures, found sticky mcstickerson
6am pot noodle and no sleep
smiling but home sick
nearly left him today
todays been okay
everyone knows what he said, everyone
"you're my girl"
not in a good place right now
amazing day
he hit my bestfriend
my hand is fucked
emotionless
"it might best to split up"
everyone thinks it but him
pinch punch first of the month (July)
i don't know what's happened to me, my moods are becoming unbearable
todays been such a bore
wreck it all, rip it up
we walked along Hunstanton beach
e.m.o.t.i.o.n.l.e.s.s
i wont catch feelings for him
all aboard the depression train
im sorry again, i couldn't stop
the best few days with her, ranting and talking about him
11:12pm shit mood
he went. shit mood
i cant sleep
thinking about it
i went home "ill"
4 months till xmas
tired af
late night conversations are my favourite
urges to step out
a.m.a.z.i.n.g
ugh ugh ugh
a bleh sort of day
up and down mood again
a week till im 15
good day
a bad mood seized me
i cant lose him
ugh unbelievable
i just want my happily ever after
birthday tomorrow
he gave me a ring and rose, my love grows more
it's just meh
emotional day
containing it all
shopping time boys
just wanna sleep forever
feel shit
shit again
rip alex, you will be missed
he thought i was perfect
im okay but feeling shit
we hugged and i felt, something
hand hurts
he brought me flowers again
fuck my life
showered but tired
good day with him
but now he doesn't
bit of a bad mood right now
i couldn't breathe
p.s
it was beautiful
repetitive bad moods
i was too close to crying
i feel... empty
he like me
utter bullshit
im splitting up with him later
ugh, yeah
i loved the happy times
it was average
not good
he told me to die, i don't know why
like down, always tired
he lead me on...
meeting my counsellor again, still down
my the depression wont go away
we got together
blogs are going well
she's gone, and i hurt so much
he makes me feel... something
cancer sucks
we split up, and i ache
"i don't want to be here anymore" and then she hurt me
im happy by the sea
swimming in the sea is my favourite hobby
very proud of my photos
alcohol and old songs
rained and rained
clear blotches or navy blue
i looked good
1 month till im 16
alone at the doctors
beautiful sunrise but hours of traffic
don't even get me started
he wont leave me alone
separated by mental stability
sometimes i don't feel like me

the end.

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